Friday, November 4, 2011

Crunch Time

Today, I took my friend Angel aside and said in a very serious tone, "I need your help."
"Okay..."she answered in a slow concerned tone.
"I need you to help me cut the cord...I need you to help me get rid cable."

  Yes, it's official--due to the sale of my building and thanks to Obama for signing a bill in 2009 that gives me the legal right to 90 days in my apartment (take that, smarty pants realator jerk), I am now planning to begin my journey around the end of january/beginning of february. And holy shit, that scares the bejesus out of me.
  There is so much to do. I still have to find a temporary home for my cat Disco, sell all my stuff including my car, organize the party/sale to do it, buy my plane tickets, buy travel insurance, make some extra copies of my passport pictures, buy a backpack and all the random stuff that will fill it--ooh, I need one of those compass keychain thingies, and ooh, I need to learn how to use a compass, and oh my god, am I even spelling compass right?
  So I try to calm myself by thinking of all the things I've already accomplished. I got my passport, got my shots, researched the hell out of this trip, ordered my ipod touch (I can video phone home wherever there's wifi!), started this blog, bought a pair of those cargo pants that zip into shorts...yeah, I'm totally ready.
  And then, there's the cable. Yup, it's gotta go. Anyone who knows me knows how truly hard this is for me. Much harder than getting rid of a boyfriend, cable has been with me my whole life! I was the first kid I knew to have HBO and the first kid to get the Disney Channel (you used to have to pay for it). In the days before DVR, I used to record one thing on my VCR at my apartment, and have my grandma using both her VCR's to tape two other shows. I have issues, I know. I've always said if there was a support program for people like me...well, I'd probably watch it on tv.
  But that's it. It's gotta go. To save money, it should have gone along time ago. I mean, most of my shows are accessible on the internet, but my problem is that I like to multi-task. I like to be on my laptop doing things like this blog while I half-ass watch whatever I saved on my DVR. I realized last night, however, as I looked around the room at the overwhelming amount of stuff I own that must be organized into a sale, that there are no magic fairies to swoop down and do it for me. I need to be half-ass watching my tv shows on my laptop while I keep myself busy, sorting through the multitude of accumulated crap...I mean the multitude of really awesome stuff that all of you, my wonderful friends, plan to buy from me so that I may see the world.
  So Angel is coming over on Monday to rip the remote from my trembling fingers and drive me to the cable store to return the best lover I ever had--my cable box, while I cope by testing out one of the valiums my travel doc gave me for the flight.

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